[Luke]

There was a man who had a girlfriend named Lorraine. Then one day a new woman was hired at his office. Her name was Clearly, and he soon fell in love with her. He thought about breaking things off with Lorraine. But he just couldn't do it. Then Lorraine learned her employer was transferring her across country. The guy pretended to be sad when Lorraine moved. But deep down, he was happy.

For he can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone





Two Yankees fans are on a train up to Boston to watch their team play the Red Sox. They start making fun of a couple of Red Sox supporters who only have one ticket between the two of them.
Just before the conductor appears both Red Sox fans go into the bathroom and lock the door behind them. When the conductor knocks on the door they slip the ticket under the door, the conductor clips it and slides it back under the door and off he goes.

On the return journey the Yankees fans decide to pull the same trick and purchase only one ticket for the two of them. They notice that yet again the two Red Sox supporters only have one ticket between them. The Yankees fans realize there is only one bathroom per carriage and quickly take the lead, locking themselves in first, leaving the Red Sox fans with nowhere to go.

A minute later the Red Sox fan without a ticket strolls over to the bathroom and knocks on the door.








Three hillbillies are sitting on a porch. One says, ''My wife has got to be the dumbest. She's so stupid she went shoppin' today and bought an air-conditioner and we don't even have electricity!"
The others laugh.

The next hick says, "Ah that ain't nothin'! My wife's dumber - she went shoppin' yesterday and had a washin' machine delivered!"

They all laughed and laughed because no one had plumbing.

The third hillbilly said, "Well, I reckon my woman has got to be the dumbest. Just this mornin' I was looking though her purse for some chewin' tobacco and I found six rubbers. Hell, she ain't got no dick!"