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zoey
Party Hopper
Joined: 04 Jun 2008
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 Will your relationship survive the Holiday's
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| Quote: | With all the hustle and bustle, it is hard not to get stressed during the holidays. What is even harder is not letting it affect your relationship. No matter what stage you relationship is in, it can be hard to compromise and get everything done. Here are some tips to make your your Holiday go a little smoother.
Plan ahead.
When you both have several places to visit in one day, make sure to plan as much ahead of time as you can. Talk to each of the people you are visiting and set specific times if possible. Allow a couple of hours in between events in case of delays. Stress to everyone that you are happy to get to stop by their gathering but that you are on a strict time schedule and want to be able to visit with everyone. If possible, suggest maybe having the get-together on Christmas Eve.
Set the alarm on your phone to buzz 10 minutes before you need to be leaving. Start heading towards the door and say your good-byes when it goes off. This will allow you to really enjoy the time you do have without feeling like you have to check the clock every few minutes. You also won’t have to rudely interrupt Uncle Larry in the middle of his fishing story; the alarm will do it for you!
Compromise with your spouse and realize that you both want to visit your families. Be fair in distributing the time. If there is a delay at a get-together for whatever reason, stay on schedule. It isn’t fair to you or your spouse to miss the planned time with your family because someone else isn’t on time.
Host an event at your house.
Hosting a big dinner or party in itself is very stressful, but sometimes it can cut down on the tension. If you and your companion have several family obligations, tell everyone that you have decided to host your own gathering this year. Then it will be up to everyone else to stop by your house.
Of course, you do have to cook and clean if you go with this idea. If you are really stressed you can always hire merry-maids and cater in. One cost-effective solution is to cook or order the turkey and then have everyone else bring a dish. This way everyone just has to do a little and no one person get stuck with being responsible for the whole meal!
Don’t rush it!
If you are in the beginning of a relationship, don’t insist on having to do every function together. I realize you may want to show your new man off to everyone in your family, but this can cause unneeded stress. The beginning of a relationship is taxing enough already without the pressure of meeting each other’s families too soon. Pick a special time to celebrate the holiday with each other alone and possibly go to one other event together.
If you are ready to do the Holiday thing together, but your guy or gal isn’t, give them time. Suggest that you spend half the day together or that you each stop by each other’s house for just a little bit. If you have been dating less than a year I wouldn’t pressure them into doing anything they are uncomfortable with. It takes some people time to adjust to being a couple in front of their extended family, and most of us are at least a little embarrassed about our families in one way or another.
If, however, you have been dating over a year or so and your guy or girl is still against meeting the family, you should ask why. It could just be that they are a little insecure and putting it off for as long as possible, but on the other hand, you could have different priorities when it comes to family.
Budget. Budget. Budget.
If you are married or share joint finances, don’t overspend. Overspending and debt can cause relationship stress like nothing else. Sit down together and make a list of everyone you both need to buy for. Set a price for each person and stick to it.
If times are particularly hard right now, express to your family that you will not spend as much as normal this year. Chances are your family will be relieved that they won’t have to overextend themselves either.
If you are going to a large family gathering, instead of bringing a present for everyone, suggest beforehand that everyone bring just one gift. Set a price limit and then play a fun game like dirty Santa or draw numbers to see who gets what gift.
One way to save money is by making gifts yourself. You can purchase cute inexpensive containers at home stores and fill them with cookies. You can also buy festive mugs and fill them with tea, hot chocolate, and candy. Use your imagination!
Set aside time just for the two of you.
Even if it seems too busy to spare a day during this time of year, do it anyway. Have a special night, or even a getaway weekend just for the two of you to celebrate together. This way you can make sure to give your love your full attention for at least a little while. You may want to exchange gifts. Make it a special occasion. Dress up even if you are staying in and have a romantic dinner. If you are a guy, go the extra mile and show up with flowers and candy. If you’re a girl, then make your guy feel special by dressing up and wearing his favorite perfume. When you both make time for each other you both feel special and are less likely to be nit-picky.
Just remember that the holidays will be over again before you know it. Try to enjoy family and friends as much as possible. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Just remember not to let the extra attention you are giving everyone else take away from the attention you give to that special someone!
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http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/will-your-relationship-survive-the-holidays-330891/
Good information 
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 Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 8:49 pm
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sexyeyes
Club Banga
Joined: 13 Sep 2006
Posts: 980
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Lots of good pointers! The holidays are a very stressful time.
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:10 pm
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Spider-Man
Out All Night
Joined: 06 Nov 2006
Posts: 513
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I don't know if this is on topic, but since my family is going out of town during Christmas, and we're all going to celebrate early, I figured I'd just go see a movie. Then my brother in law called and wanted to know if it was okay if he wanted to spend time with me since nobody should spend Christmas alone. That was very thoughtful of him.
I just wanted to share that.
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:22 pm
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jax
Site Admin
Joined: 09 Aug 2005
Posts: 2254
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Wow, this will be the first time in 4 years I don't have to worry about most of that. Being single does have its ups at times.
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Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:14 pm
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